poems

Two Deaths, a Moment

2019 · Poetry

                You were never there.
                You were never there,
                But different this time.
                'I miss you' becomes
                —you die—
                'I never knew how scared of you I was.'
            

                Longing translates from
                Dread. And old veins fall,
                Tap thin parody of your consciousness,
                Tread-bare scalp, -bare soul,
                Flake down, patter like
                Graph-paper's applause.
            

                When nothing happens,
                All shining snot, there's worse goings than gentle.
                Act like I never
                (It is about me)
                Ached for your exile
                From care, or wasteport
                Jettison from my committed neglect.
            

                Why were you never?
                I can't remember,
                Why weren't you ever?
                A zigzag roughness
                Tearing against the
                —, the —-.
                Now always the same.
            